this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
