Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
