this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
