I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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