next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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