I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
