pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
