My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
