I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
