belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're my little dorito
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
