it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
