the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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