I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
