she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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