I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
