If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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