Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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