You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
