nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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