And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
its liver damage thursday
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