only if we run a train.
done.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
