I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
