hotel room ftw
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
