My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
