does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
