Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
