I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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