I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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