sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
