happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
