You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
