sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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