Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there's paper in my vomit.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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