Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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