I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
