Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
