we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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