dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize