Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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