I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
