Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
