dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
