# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
