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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
