The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
