I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
