Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
