You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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