i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
