dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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