His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
