he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
