I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize