My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize