We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
