Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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