Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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