Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize