I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
