I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
