I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
