Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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