Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
