so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
