We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize