At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
