He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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